Stronger Than Ever

Kneeling on the first step of the stage this morning with my face just inches from the floor, I couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down my face. But this cry was different. It was different because I think I felt every single tear.

Blog---Stronger-Than-Ever

I’m not sure what the tears were representative of, but I know they were meaningful. Maybe they were representative of the fifty men I committed to praying for and influencing to Act Like Men (the theme of this morning’s conference)? Maybe they were in some way representative of each struggle and painful experience our family has endured during this season of our lives?

What I do know is that as the tears rolled and every possibility ran through my head, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of complete weakness. Weakness in the fact that as my marriage experienced a struggle yesterday (since completely resolved), I was called upon to pray for and encourage one marriage that was breaking and another that was soon to happen. How could I lead others when I couldn’t lead myself? I also felt weakness in the fact that lately I have struggled to hold it all together yet I am looked at and respected as a pastor (it’s still so weird to even mention that title). I mean, I’m not on the verge of a melt-down or a freak-out but living in a current season of total unknown is weighing heavy. Again, how can I keep others off the edge when I get close at times?

Then Jesus (yup, one of those moments), spoke to me. Not audibly though that would have been mind-blowing, but in a such a way that as I was  on my knees with my face on the ground and tears running down my face, He put His hands around my heart and said:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Cor 12:9

I have heard it so many times before (never from God). I have taught on the verses. I believe it with all of my heart. But this morning was different because Jesus said it. He wanted to impress it on my heart, maybe so this time it wouldn’t be forgotten. And definitely so I could see that it is in my weakness that God can use me greatest.

Yesterday was a tough day but it finished with an amazing, Holy Spirit inspired conversations. My weakness caused me to be completely transparent with the couple I was counseling. The transparency broke down walls that were there and probably unbreakable in my own strength. My weakness drove me to get to that conference this morning when it looked like I wasn’t going. And my weakness brought me to my knees on the bottom step of that stage.

In my own strength, I wouldn’t have given Jesus the opportunity to speak to me when I needed it most. But because of my weakness, His perfect power came through.

And now, I feel stronger than ever!

 

About Ryan Miller

I am a sinner saved by the blood of Jesus, living to glorify Him all day every day. I am a Pastor at For His Glory Community Church in Fullerton, California . Alongside me at all times is my amazing wife Michelle and my daughters, Alexis and Chloe. View all posts by Ryan Miller

2 responses to “Stronger Than Ever

  • Cameron Stevens

    God bless you Ryan! It’s difficult to write about our deficiencies. Yet, when we make ourselves vulnerable before our Lord, He does a great work in our hearts. I had a very similar experience before my staff during my first devotions as an administrator. I completely broke down in tears. Later God spoke to my heart with the same verse. He made it very clear to me that we are nothing without Him. We can not do a thing on our own without acknowledging His presence in our lives, and the willingness to be used by Him. Thank you for sharing bro, and acting like a true man of God.

  • Ryan Miller

    Thank you Cameron. I appreciate the encouragement.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: