I think it is easy to assume that the guy that never speaks up, the family that always walks into church with a smile, and the college student who has tons of friends are ALL GOOD.
“We don’t have to worry about that person, he/she is a strong Christian.”
Have you said it before? Or are people saying it about you? You know what happens when we ass-u-me right?
I live a pretty transparent life. I use Facebook, Twitter and even this blog as a sounding board from time to time (ok, most of the time). But I still have people come up to me and wonder what I am doing to keep so happy and so strong. They want to know why my life is so good. REALLY? I usually tell them to just scroll through a few more of my posts, or sit with me for some time so I can share what life is really like. It’s tough and frankly sometimes it sucks! It is only because of Jesus that I can hold it together. Without the Rock as my foundation, I would be swept away (read Matthew 7:24-27).
The real danger in the assumption (not just being a donkey) is this:
What if I was in a massive state of depression? Nobody would know a thing until I was spiraling out of control, or worse yet dead.
What if I was caught up in sexual sin? Before you found out, I had already managed to ruin my marriage and my family.
WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST ASK? WHY DIDN’T YOU TAKE THE TIME TO FIND OUT WHAT WAS REALLY GOING ON?
Maybe it is because we are fearful of being inconvenienced. Or maybe we are afraid to know the truth about people we love. Or maybe, and this a BIG maybe, we may not actually have everything figured out.
The questions start simply. How are you? What has been going on in your life? What can I pray for in your life? How is your job? Your marriage? Your relationship with God? Are you struggling with anything?
I am sure by now you see it, and you either think I’m an idiot for bringing this elementary stuff up or you feel convicted to pick up the phone and send a text to someone in your life right now.
So practically I encourage you to do a few things:
- Think about all the people in your life that you care about (family, friends, business colleagues, church members). Maybe even list them out.
- Think about the last time you asked that person the hard questions.
- Pick one or two of those people.
- Don’t assume a single thing.
- Ask the hard questions.