I remember the first time I was truly exposed to the thought of Calvinism. A good friend shared with me in disgust that he found out two of our favorite musical artists were indeed Calvinists. “Ugh, that makes me sick!” was one of my first reactions. I couldn’t believe two men who would share such amazing music could believe in a God “like that.” That was 2009.

“Ugh, that (Calvinism) makes me sick!”

Fast forward to this morning. I sat with a young man over a business meeting. A few minutes in, he mentioned that my email signature and other “subtle hints” led him to believe that I could be a Christian. I confirmed his assumption and went on to say that I was a pastor. He seemed relieved that was my answer to his question. We went about our business meeting on a new playing field. My message didn’t change, and I don’t think his did either, but because we knew where each other stood, things just went a bit “different.” The meeting went great as we talked business ownership, family balance, and more. As we wound down, he asked if I was familiar with his local church. I told him that other than mentions from a few people, I didn’t know much. Then he let the cat out of the bag…..

“We are a little different than many other churches” he said. “Like how?” was my reply. “Well, we are a bit Calvinistic…err, reformed” he hesitantly responded. “Ha, us too!” I said. At that point, we stood up and began walking out the door.

What then transpired outside was something I needed personally after some weeks of theological discussions, challenges, and debates. He proceeded to share that years earlier he was faced with his dad telling him that Calvinism was supported by the teachings of the Bible. “I denied it and wouldn’t have it” he said. But as time went on, he searched the scriptures. He began to reluctantly discover that God was fully sovereign, thus in total control. He saw that God did the saving and his own “failed” attempts to save friends wasn’t failure at all, but the result of a God working apart from his human ability (or lack of it). He realized that God wasn’t disappoointed with his life struggles, but actually supportive and more in love with him than ever before. All this came at a time when depression and thoughts of suicide were prevelant in his life. And then, as he got teary-eyed mid-sentence, he said that practically overnight “this new view of God removed the thoughts of depression and suicide.” He no longer had to measure himself for God. He was free to live as God called him and trusted that if he gave all he had, God would take care of the results.

“This new view of God removed the thoughts of depression and suicide.”

I don’t need to be a Calvinist but I do need to be a Christian.

I don’t need to line up with a man’s interpretation of scripture but I do need to line up with what I believe scripture teaches.

I don’t need a God that manipulates but I do need a God that is always in control.

I don’t need to convince anyone to believe as I do but I will encourage it because often times, it’s the only thing that gets me through the day.